The Girl He Liked ( PART 2 )"She walks on my Isle"

Read Part 1 before this to get a better hold.

 A Fictional Medical LOVE STORY

This is a 3-part fictional medical love story between a boy and a girl which begins too soon and ends well (Narration: By the boy)

CONTINUED

''It was hard for me to sleep that day. All I could think is one thing ''DONT LOSE HER AT ANY COST''

And that's why I had to change my WhatsApp about section to ''NEVER LET GO OF THE PEOPLE YOU LOVE''

Now another fear began, what if you lose her?

I could only imagine my life married to any other woman, but I was sad, deeply accounting on all the things that could have happened, if she were here with me. It didn't end well, no woman was able to replace her at my bedside at 60, thinking about our lives and holding our hands together.

And the last time I see her was at the Pharmacology Practical Finals, I so want to tell her, but I'm afraid.

Now after the exams, I was going back home with my best friend. I was sad, depressed, thinking about her again and again and over and over...............

He asked me, if anything was wrong and if I'm willing to speak about it? I said No, I didn't want to tell him anything. Because there is this little life that I am building with her in my Heart, that I didn't even feel like telling him. I lie here all day and I just want to strike a conversation with her. So, I message

Hey (her name), it's me (my name) from your batch. Anyway, I needed your advice regarding (something). So, will you text me back when you're free?

The message was never delivered. Now I knew for sure that she blocked me long time ago for a mistake I committed for not introducing me.

How can I tell her to Unblock ME? How to ask her as why she blocked me in the first place? Things begin to get complicated and out of hand.

So, I write a normal text message not WhatsApp, ''Hey (her name), it's me (my name) from your batch. I tried texting you through WhatsApp, but you never replied. Anyway, this is my number. I needed your help regarding (something), because I was unable to decide on it. So, will you text me back when you're free?

Now it hurts, as in the message is delivered in the last 4 hours and I haven't got a reply. And my mind is like ''Write an Email to her you idiot''. I am sitting here on my bed at 1;30 in the night, writing this part of my story that's been happening lately. I wake up and she's the first person that comes to my mind and I go to bed late in night and she's the last person to say goodnight to me. I don't understand ''if this is a phase in my life or God is trying to teach me something''.

That desperation you see, waiting for a text, a slightest reply, reaching your phone for every notification to see if that's her. This part of my life is unique, and I don't know how to deal with it. I recently happened to know that she is the only daughter of her parents. I saw their family and they are a respectable one. Another reason to be with her is because of their parents, respectable, humble and simple living.

Now I know all the stupid things I have done or maybe should have done. One thing is not clear.

I WISH I COULD TELL HER IN PERSON, HOW I FEEL. I WISH SHE COULD UNDERSTAND ME COMPLETELY. I WISH SHE SEES ME THE SAME WAY AS I DO. I WISH SHE RESPECTS MY FAMILY AS I DO TO HERS. I WISH TO SPEND THE REST OF MY LIFE WITH HER.

They say that time heals everything. Well, this is what I want time to heal for me. This is a humble desperate request to God to make things happen between us, start this relationship, because all I want is to feel my life holding her hand as I breathe my last.

                                            Understanding to Feel

Whenever I'm away from home or far from her, you know that instinct or courage that you make up and proudly you're prepared to say everything you want to say and now, When I have the chance, she's sitting right Infront of me in the class, right beside me in the pediatric postings, I am just like ''AWW'' , no words, nothing, absolute stillness around you, like nothing's happening. It's me and her that's it.

Another thing, I just cannot talk to her assuming she's just another girl. She is super special and I just don't know how to start even. It's just there and it isn't. I have practiced what I need to tell her, over and over again in my head and every time I rehearse, it's a different story and yet the same thing I want to convey. The feelings are solid hard, and I know that they are not false. But how would I know when I've never talked to her or had an eye contact that lasted more than a second. It's just like, she knows that I exist and it doesn't matter to her no way even if I'm gone the next day.

In this crazy world, she is so lucky that she doesn't even know that a complete stranger friend in her class loves her so much and he doesn't even understand how to express his feelings to her. And everybody moves on with their lives assuming it's just another day or is it for me? No, it's not, every day the same rush, the same urgency to go right up to her, call her by name and tell her how I feel.

Knowing that, it never happens, is another thought that keeps reminding me where I belong. Sometimes your overthinking reminds you that she is way out of your league to be with me, or is she? She is like me, doesn't have any social media accounts, doesn't even talk or make friends with anyone. It's just 2 to 3 boys and a bunch of girls,with whom she spends most of her time. My alter ego feels that she's in a toxic relationship who don't even care about her if a day comes in the future.

You know, how lucky you feel to be with someone you love, who cares for you, and they genuinely want to be with you as time flies by. All I hope is at least she gets that one good friend, a loyal, an honest, or anyone with whom she feels safe and comfortable to speak about her wishes, and darkest desires without any judgement. You want to be that person.

Everybody has hard times, right when they just want to call that one person, a friend who was once a stranger and open up to them complete. Everybody wants one, but does everybody have one? No, definitely not for my girl, so it's time to build that one friendship for yourself. My heart is fighting with my mind over making decisions regarding her. My mind wants me to chase my dreams, make money and then propose, while my heart wants to propose now, work together to be rich. Since she is the only child of her parents, they probably want the best for her regarding her relationship.

Let time heal everything and destiny meets us once wherein I'll tell her everything and probably, this was everything she wanted to hear.

                                       Your Overthinking Mind

What if she said 'yes' 

I would begin as friends chatting on WhatsApp, the daily good morning and goodnight, then towards sharing notes and secrets. Then one day asking her out for a dinner and talk like hell, make her laugh and spend some quality time with love. After one to two years, probably telling her that I love her, and she says it back in her own time. You introduce her to your parents, and she does the same. Both families agree for marriage and later settling in life. After two years of vacation and travelling, planning to have two kids, a boy and a girl, and spend some quality time with them every day after work. Watch the children grow older, while I lie on the lap of my wife holding her hand visualising my entire life from falling in love with her to telling her how I feel to this very moment which feels so real right now.

OH, this only gets better and better if she says yes.

What if she says 'NO'

Simple answer '' Probably I deserve someone better and life goes on ''

I guess the No part is shorter than Yes part. Either way its win win, or is it? Nothing makes sense without her for the rest of my life and thinking life without her is an utter hell.

Just believing that everything is going to be okay, and everything will fall into place and everything you deserve will come to you at the right time and the right place. Until then keep doing the right thing and wait for the one to come.

So that was the part 2 of this story. He is going to tell her how he feels in the next blog. The thing is She................

Read it in the next blog and stay tuned.

Please share your views about the blog and about my writing in the comment section. Your suggestion matters

Thanking you; ABHISHEK GHOOLI

                            3RD MBBS BMCRI